you know what. i just realised (okay. not just just. but yeah. you get what i mean) that i dont really trust guys that much. particularly people i'm dating.

its not so much the person. more of the problem lies with me. because it always happens. every single time.

i know it hurts. and yet i do stupid things.

its like sometimes i ask things that i know i will get affected. although have already anticipated. i still go right into it. head first. and then ask stupid things. and then get hurt. emo. nonsense. i know. and yet i still do. weird huh.

and when i hear some things about their past, i get somewhat emo. no matter how long ago it happened. and no matter how much they actually say sweet things. and assure me.

probably. its me being naive. thinking that things like that dont happen. sighs.

but i feel that if a person is able to talk abt it. in a certain degree of detail. it should mean something.):

i guess i should learn to be fair. memories are meant to be kept. oh wells.

maybe, just maybe i'm wishing the answer was different. or some things just didnt happen. and a knight in shiny armour and a shiny white vespa will come and whisk me away. from reality.

but its time to wake up. from this fairytale dream.

sighs. i keep telling myself that. but when will it ever happen? sighs. i'm a stubborn girl with bad habits that i need to kick. okay. i should stop. and head to bed.

just random ramblings.

its time for bed. i'm starting to utter nonsense.

good nights.

Labels: emo, patsy, ramblings, random, relationships